Frasier: In the last week I've uprooted myself from my home of fifteen years, moved all the way across the country away from everything I care about, and plunged myself into a frightening new career. The first few nerve-wracking moments, I walk in here and find my producer lobbying to get herself transferred to another show. Abe Lincoln had a brighter future when he picked up his tickets at the box office.
Frasier: [responding to a caller] Roger, at Cornell University they have an incredible piece of scientific equipment known as the Tunneling Electron Microscope. Now, this microscope is so powerful that by firing electrons you can actually see images of the atom, the infinitesimally minute building blocks of our universe. Roger, if I were using that microscope right now, I still wouldn't be able to locate my interest in your problem.
Frasier: Niles, owning the CD of "Ella Sings Gershwin" does not qualify you as a soul brother.
[Frasier, Roz and her young daughter Alice are waiting in line at a kid’s book store: a book-signing session is being conducted by Frasier’s old flame, Nanny G]
Roz: So, are you hoping for another hug?
Frasier: Mmm? Well, the thought had crossed my mind. You know, we used to have this wild attraction to each other – it was almost combustible! Truth be told, it’s been a while since,I, uh... [covers Alice’s ears] romped with abandon through the perfumed gardens of Eros.
Roz: Next time you say something like that, cover my ears.
Frasier: [on the subject of Dr. Nora, a cruel, dismissive radio shrink]
This is a woman who thought the Spanish Inquisition was just tough love for heretics.
Roz: When I die, I want it to be on my 100th birthday, in my beach house on Maui, and I want my husband to be so upset he has to drop out of college.
Niles: Well, as some illustrious person said, "popularity is the hallmark of mediocrity".
Frasier: You just made that up, didn't you?
Niles: Yes, but I stand by it.
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