I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died ~ Steven Wright
I require three things in a man: he must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid ~ Dorothy Parker
Gentlemen, include me out ~ Samuel Goldwyn
I must decline your invitation owing to a subsequent engagement ~ Oscar Wilde
The only time my wife and I had a simultaneous orgasm was when the judge signed the divorce papers ~ Woody Allen
Talking about music is like dancing about architecture ~ Steve Martin
Room Service? Send up a larger room ~ Groucho Marx
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