Monday, September 19, 2005

Guilt by Association

I'm way too deep into the "real" to seek solace in the virtual right now. Nonetheless, the recalcitrant contrarian lurking beneath my user-friendly façade figures this is as good a pretext as any for diversifying my time-investment portfolio and squandering a few of the, rapidly-accelerating and ever-diminishing, moments which comprise the remainder of my life on something reassuringly trivial:

Suddenly I’m in a smokey club in Montemarte discussing Derrida/impressing the chicks with a working knowledge of French Symbolism/drinking Absinthe and smoking jazz cigarettes while some impromptu bebop combo on a cartographic tip valiantly attempts to map the mysterious contours of John Coltrane’s A Love Supreme.

A slinky piece of homework in Givenchy shades is giving me the Hepburn stare and I’m floating on air, taking flight from the Authenticity Show.

So what’s the story? A kopacasetic Beat Boy meets an apocalyptic It Girl? Sounds like the perfect pitch but U can bet UR bo2m $ the text-messaging teens don't give a sh^t about language. How do you text "Ludwig Wittgenstein" and stay fashionable? This is the Hollywood remake: the last scintilla of original thought has been evicted from the cultural wasteland. Reductio ad absurd dumb movie magic lantern show me the money.

“Imitation is the sincerest form of plagiarism, Homeyz” jokes some sinister Jim Carrey doppelgangbanger in his inimitable Cab Calloway meets Jerry Lewis persona non gratification of the Kyoto Protocolonic irrigation. An Umberto echo resonating around an empty vessel or a resounding tinkle on the ivory trade out of Africalifornia, girls? West coast girls are hip replacemental imitation is generally considered to beyond the pale face down in the gutterly irrelevant in this context messaging environmentally retarded ejaculate for a very important date with destiny creatures of the woodland of the free fall into the moral vacuum cleaner non schtick tock clock struck one we’ll have some funfair lady Godiva scuban missile crisis of “Faith” by George Michaelangelo Dundee city of discovery tempting to check that chick from the sticks and stones may break Fast and Furious starring Vin Diesel engine and tonic for the soul musicalifornia girls are hip replacemental limitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

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